12:06 am - Sun, Apr 13, 2014
3 notes
Q: Hi there, I just wanted to drop you guys a note to say THANK YOU for this blog. I had a dissociative episode which lasted about a year and finding out there were memes about it made everything so much better. When I felt more alone than I thought was possible you guys made me realise that what I was experiencing was not uncommon and that made such a difference. Please know that your work is appreciated and that you made a big difference in helping me to mend my mind. All the best, Miriam.


7:09 pm - Sat, Apr 12, 2014
1 note
Q: Hi, I'm the anon that's been maybe dissociated for about 3 1/2 years. I might bring it up with my therapist, but how should I? I'm usually scared to bring stuff up with her and will wait until she brings something up to start talking. How should I do this?

If it’s a matter of being unable to bring anything up in person, it might help you to send her a quick email or even to write what you want to say down on a scrap of paper and give it to her at the beginning of your next session. Otherwise, you could hint that you dissociate during a session or try to steer the conversation in that direction. Try to keep in mind that your therapist is there to help you you. She’s probably seen a lot of things during her time as a therapist, and she won’t judge you for suffering from a fairly common problem. Dissociation is nothing to be ashamed of, and you deserve the opportunity to get help and support. If you think that your therapist might not know enough about dissociation already, you can print an article about it and give that to her, possibly without expanding further until she asks, if that’s what makes you feel the most comfortable. In the end, the therapeutic process is about you, so however you choose to approach the issue is fine.

- Rage of Those Interrupted

7:03 pm
3 notes
Q: I'm going inpatient because of my dissociation, and I'm nervous. What should I expect?

I’d left this question in the inbox for a while because I was hoping that one of the other mods could possibly answer it. I have to admit that I have no personal experience with going inpatient, and I don’t want to misrepresent the process to you. Can any of our followers help?

-Rage of Those Interrupted

9:12 pm - Sat, Apr 5, 2014
28 notes
Q: How do I know if I experienced ritualized abuse?



This ask has been here for awhile, and I’ve been thinking about it.

The truth is that’s not something I have much knowledge about, and researching isn’t as easy for me to do right now.

Your best bet would probably be to reach out to support and advocacy groups, and learn about the effects and such of ritualized abuse.

I’m sorry I couldn’t help  more.

First, before I say anything else, some possible resources for you, anon:

Pandora’s Aquarium has a password protected forum specifically for ritual abuse survivors. It tends to be a very supportive community.

Two sites with information about ritual abuse are RA-Info and Survivorship.

The only book about ritual abuse which I can recommend in good conscience is The Politics and Experience of Ritual Abuse, by Sara Scott. It can be extremely triggering though, as she includes a lot of survivor stories.

I have been trying to put the rest of this post behind a cut, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Sorry, readers, for the length and subject matter - I’m trying to keep this as minimally triggering as possible.

[warning for extensive discussion of abuse, specifically ritualized abuse]

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4:38 am - Thu, Apr 3, 2014
4 notes
Q: is there a medication that can help lower the frequency of dissociative switching?


Actuallllllly, yes. There’s nothing approved by the FDA for that purpose, however, Mirapex, a Parkinson’s drug, is often used off-label for dissociation/DID. Additionally, there has been some research done that resulted in the theory that using a stimulant/ADHD med like Adderall can actually be very helpful to help keep the different parts together and prevent dissociation. Again, some psychiatrists are hesitant to use drugs for off-label (not what it is approved for by the FDA) purposes, but it’s worth exploring with your doctor for sure! I don’t currently have access to scholarly research however if you know someone who has access to a medical research database (Medline, etc), you can probably find more in-depth information from the studies, whether for yourself or to discuss with your doctor.

4:27 am
4 notes
Q: So I feel unreal and out of my head a lot and like nothing around me is real and I thought it sounded like depersonalization/derealization, but I've never been abused and this has been almost constant for about 3 1/2 years? I don't have amnesia but I do have a pretty bad memory and whenever I try and ground myself I can only get to "everything else is real but I'm not" and I get really scared cause it's like I was just jolted out of that state. I'm afraid to tell my therapist in case I'm (cont)

(Cont) just being over dramatic about it and also cause it would just be another thing that’s wrong with me on top of anxiety, depression and drug use (this started before I was using drugs though). I know you aren’t doctors but in your opinion, does this sound like dissociation?

Depersonalization/derealization don’t require abuse. Trauma can worsen them, but they’re at least partially genetic. For some people, they can span long periods of time, and dissociation can worsen one’s memory. It does sound like you’re experiencing very strong dissociation, yes, and I’m sorry that grounding alone isn’t enough to help you. I do think that you should tell your therapist about this. You’re not being overly dramatic at all! It sounds like this is really affecting your life, and you deserve help. What’s more, it could easily be related to or worsened by one of your other conditions, and if so, it should be noted as a symptom. There are certain medications that are known to lesson the symptoms of dissociation (though other, non-prescribed medications might worsen the symptoms), so this is definitely something to make your therapist aware of.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

2:57 pm - Mon, Mar 31, 2014
Q: I'm half way through season seven of Buffy and I need to talk about it in relation to my programming/trauma based mind control. One of the characters is being conditioned into a mind slave with triggers and it firstly really bothers me because he's like 200 years old and past the time to start trauma based minds control, but it's also really triggering because it on some level evokes protocols that I need to report in. And gah, it's just hard.

I’m sorry to hear that! I’m glad that you recognize that it is just a TV show and highly unrealistic, but I’m sorry to hear that it’s invoking conditioning in you. Are you physically safe? Is there anyone whom you can trust to keep an eye on you and ensure that you’re not trying to contact your abusers again? If you have a therapist, you’ll probably want to tell them what’s going on, and you might want to be careful watching the show for a little while. On the other hand, if you feel capable of doing so, you can learn a bit from it; I’m sure that the character is going to break free eventually, and while I can’t guess as to whether or not there’s magic involved in that kind of thing on Buffy, it sounds like the base of it is just conditioning. It can be helpful to keep in mind that that’s what your own programming is. It’s just advanced conditioning that’s tied to trauma in order to provoke the wanted response for abusers. It can be broken. In a way, it’s no different from any other trauma learned message, it might just take a bit more work in order to process and a bit more care because of system members who were more heavily conditioned. Programming can be broken, and the fact that you’re talking about it shows that you probably have a very good chance of freeing yourself from it. Good luck, anon!

-Rage of Those Interrupted

2:44 pm
2 notes
Q: Tonight I had a weird experience of feeling kind of disconnected from me and my feelings just numb so I hurted myself in order to remind myself that I am there. Is this a depersonalisation or something? Or what is it? Thank you

Yes, it sounds like you were experiencing depersonalization. How you tried to deal with that is fairly common, but it’s not really the best way to do so! I suggest that if you ever feel that way again, you use a grounding technique in order to connect yourself back.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

2:26 am - Wed, Mar 26, 2014
5 notes
Q: (TW: RA) Can something be ritual abuse if it's not religious but still has the same kind of goals? What if it has the same goals but isn't religious and is only one person doing it to you? I don't want to use the wrong terms if it doesn't count.

Yes. From what I understand, ritual abuse is any abuse that’s sadistic, religious, or contains ritualistic aspects. For example, human trafficking is often counted with ritual abuse. Any abuse that involved conditioning is ritual abuse. Abuse that contained religious aspects is ritual abuse. It’s a really broad label, so it can be kind of confusing sometimes! However, ritual abuse can be more extreme than other trauma (there’s no trauma hierarchy, but people who are fine supporting someone who experienced sexual abuse alone might be horrified by some of the sadistic acts witnessed in ritual abuse) and often contains different aspects that need to be dealt with in a way that typical trauma therapy can’t account for. In that matter, it is a useful label. Unfortunately, it does have a lot of stigma and misinformation attached to it, so many people who might otherwise label their abuse such try to avoid just that. Whether or not you’d like to identify your abuse in such a way is up to you.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

2:14 am
1 note
Q: not being able to relate to one's memories, is that a normal thing? or something to do with dissociation and might want to look into? sorry if the question doesn't really make sense i don't really know how to put it :( like i guess memories have a sort of 3rd person-y feel to them, or like watching a movie.

I’m not sure, to be honest! I know that it’s frequently experienced among those who are dissociative, but I’m not entirely sure if this is something that non-dissociatives can relate to. Either way, I would base the need for further exploration more on the level of discomfort or distress that it causes you as well as any other dissociative symptoms that you might have. Feeling disconnected from one’s memories might be caused by any number of things, but it by itself isn’t too worrying.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

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