2:02 am - Fri, Jul 25, 2014
214 notes

sprite—wings:

when you dissociate in the middle of something

12:02 am - Wed, Jul 23, 2014
2 notes
Q: I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and DDNOS. Yesterday I started feeling very manic and uncomfortable and all of a sudden I dissociated so hard I felt like I had pulled out of myself and my arms were coming out my back! I didn't register anything about me as my own, and my arms just looked like limp meat sleeves. Not recognizing my own body and feeling hollow happens to me all the time, but after it happened, it felt like somebody else filled my arms and started filling up my empty-
Anonymous

—cont— husk of a body. Once it spread to my head it felt like I was falling and I couldn’t really move anymore. Was I dissociating?? Was I hallucinating?? That’s never happened before, I don’t really know what’s going on! Thank you for your time your blog is a godsend <3

That sounds horrible! I’m so sorry that that happened to you. Unfortunately, I don’t know much about hallucinations, so I’m not sure how much help I can be. It does sound as if what you experienced could have been caused by severe depersonalization or might have involved a mix of dissociation and hallucinations (or even one triggered by the other), but I can’t say for sure. I would highly recommend writing down what happened to you in as much detail as possible and bringing that to a professional when you get the chance. Especially if your symptoms are worsening, you might want professional help with managing and reducing the dissociation and hallucinations. I hope that you can get the answers that you need and find a way to prevent such an episode from ever repeating!

-Rage of Those Interrupted

8:40 pm - Sat, Jul 19, 2014
23 notes
Q: So is it normal to only have 4 alters? Everyone I meet has at least over 10, but my four boys are all I have...
Anonymous

The average number of alters is 12-15, but the number of alters that one has can range from two to hundreds. There is no “normal” or “abnormal” when it comes to the number of alters. A system will have however many alters were needed to fit their situation and personal limits.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

5:18 pm - Thu, Jul 10, 2014
2 notes
Q: I'm seriously new to this, I've been like this forever. At first I just thought it was normal to have someone in my head or 'mindpalace' as I recently starting to refer to it as. They're so real, I see them just like I see other people in reality and they all have their own personalities and everything. When they take over my body I am completely a different person and I'm not aware of what they did when I come back. I can't go to a doctor about this. I don't want to see their expression...
Anonymous

It can be quite jarring when you realise not everyone is like that. I totally relate to that feeling and I know a lot of others do too.

As for going to a doctor, that decision is yours and yours only. Nobody can force you to if you don’t want to. My advice/comments around that would depend on how you function. There are many people with DID who function very well and haven’t ever had a doctor or therapists input and don’t feel the need to get one. That is perfectly acceptable and is of course their own decision. I was actually one of those people for a while.

However if you are struggling and if it is having a negative impact on your life I would then recommend you see someone. It doesn’t have to be a doctor; could be a counsellor or a therapist or someone similar who can help with building stability and functionality.

Good luck anon.

Blu

5:12 pm
2 notes
Q: Could you share some non-meme focused dissociation blogs?
Anonymous

Do you mean personal blogs? I can’t really recommend any that are solely dissociation focused.

Followers, if you have a dissociation blog or could recommend one for Anon can you send us a question or reblog this? Thanks.

1:21 am - Tue, Jul 8, 2014
4 notes
Q: I have depersonalisation disorder and I get trances to the point where I feel physically ill :/ But I also feel that I get other people in my head.. And there's an awareness for two of them but i co-con a lot with one that doesn't dissociate.. However I know there are others but i know they're holding a lot of traumatic memories so I'm scared of reaching out to them.. Me and Eva (the one i co-con) with share memories and don't have black outs but (continued)
thestandingupforyou

(Continued) There was an aggressive personality - i dont know her very well - who developed in my early teens and i remember almost nothing from when she’s out. Also when she switches she doesn’t remember what happened just before. She gets aggressive i think because I’ve been attacked a lot? Idk what this is or how to deal with it I’m just so confused…. :(

It sounds as if you have Dissociative Identity Disorder (or at least DDNOS/OSDD). I can’t diagnose you over the internet, but even were I to try, it’s a disorder that can be difficult to deal with alone, and it sounds as if it’s already causing you problems. I strongly suggest that you find a therapist who’s trained to work with dissociative clients. Whether or not you undergo a formal diagnostic test is up to you, but a therapist who knows what they’re doing and how to help you can be very important! They’ll know better how to help you with your depersonalization, your others, and whatever trauma you might have survived. For example, all that I can suggest in regards to your depersonalization is that you learn to utilize grounding techniques, but a therapist would be able to help you to get to the root of the dissociation.

In the mean time, i would suggest continuing to support the personalities that you do know and reaching out to those that you don’t. Respect your own limits and be careful not to overwhelm yourself by interacting with personalities who contain traumatic memories, but ensuring that your current environment is safe for them and getting them a few small objects of their own (such as coloring books, stuffed animals, or music that they might like) can do a lot to improve communication and encourage mutually beneficial behavior all around. I suggest reaching out to your aggressive personality, as well, though again, be careful not to overwhelm yourself or your others by trying to move things too quickly or by trying to take on more than you can handle. You can communicate with the others by leaving behind notes, and I recommend keeping notes of what you do throughout the day and what will be expected of you at what times so that you or others are caught off guard by dissociative amnesia less often.

I hope that this helps you!

-Rage of Those Interrupted

1:07 am
Q: So much bad stuff has been happening that it has sent me in a dissociative fugue for 20 days now and it is affecting absolutely everything... I can't have proper conversations and I need to ring landlords to find a house and all that stuff requires finer skills than I have in this stupor... Nothing feels real and it's like I am watching from a distance. I know it is only here because else I would be a danger to myself but jeez I just want to be grounded for a day... Can I have some help please?
spell-damage

I’m really sorry to hear that! I’m not sure how much I can do for you, but I would suggest that you try to ground yourself. It might help as well if you were to be able to take a day for self care; try to reduce stressors as much as possible and spend a day relaxing, enjoying yourself, and trying to connect back to your emotions in small doses. Talking to a friend, therapist, or someone who could relate might help you to work out your feelings a bit, and those closer to you might have more concrete suggestions for both grounding and improving your situation. As well, could anyone possibly help you with everything that you need to do so that your own stress load is decreased? If there’s anything that normally helps you to become less stressed, I would suggest trying that, too. The dissociation is more likely to fade if the result of that won’t be an overload of negative emotions and possibly destructive reactions.

I hope that something here works for you and that everything improves for you quickly.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

6:42 am - Sat, Jul 5, 2014
12 notes
Q: Do you have any information about non-human alters?
Anonymous

Non-human alters are alters that, for whatever reason, see themselves as an animal, fantasy creature, or hybrid. Like all other alters, non-human alters are the result of trauma and an already severely dissociative mind. They may be protectors who were created to take on an identity that reinforces that they’re stronger than regular humans. They could be traumatized child alters who represent being treated as or feeling subhuman. They could be a literal representation of animalistic desires or desires that were attributed to certain dark fantasy creatures. If a child was neglected but saw their parents lavishing affection on the pet cat, that child might have a feline alter because of their desire to obtain their parents’ affection. If a child was heavily into fantasy, they may have decided that being a certain fantasy creature would prevent anyone from ever touching them again, or they might have found comfort in the idea that one of their beloved fantasy species was watching over them. If a child was hurt by so many people that they stopped trusting humans, they may have decided that only animals were safe and so only have been alright with alters that were animals. There are many reasons for non-human alters to exist as they do; the ones listed just skim the surface.

Of course, different non-human alters express being non-human in different ways. Some will be fully non-human and will act as their respective animal would. They may be frightened of humans, unable to communicate, and unable to use the body as other alters do. Sometimes, non-human alters such as these will exist only inside and will be unable to use the body, but other times, they may come out when the body is threatened or with someone who’s been proven to be completely safe and able to help the system. On the other hand, some non-human alters may appear non-human but may be capable of human speech, other methods of human communication, or of using the body as human alters might. In fact, some non-human alters may appear as non-human inside but accept being human when in the body. Finally, some non-human alters may be hybrids that have only certain traits of their respective species but otherwise look and act as would a human alter. It’s even possible that an alter could at first present as non-human but eventually adopt a human identity as they begin to heal from their past or as what’s making them feel so othered is identified. Large varieties are possible even within the same system.

Non-human alters are actually very common in DID. They’re not often talked about because of the stigma that they can bring, but they’re actually well known and acknowledged among clinical circles, and once one system admits to having them, it’s common for many other systems to admit to the same. For example, of the 102 systems that filled out my survey pertaining to DID/DDNOS-1 (found here), 32 systems (31%) admitted to having animal alters, and 42 systems (41%) admitted to having alters that identified as fantasy creatures. Another 6 systems (6%) had alters who identified as inanimate objects. While the majority of systems may not have non-human alters, non-human alters are still very common, and there’s nothing wrong with having one or more within a system.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

6:00 am
1 note
Q: I was sexually abused as a child but I can only remember the before and after of the event. Do you know of any techniques that could help with recovering those memories?
barackinthehouse

I really don’t recommend trying to recover memories on your own. If you have repressed memories of abuse, I strongly recommend working through them with a therapist. Often, repressed memories will spontaneously return to the conscious when triggered if the person can handle having them. If a memory is still repressed, there’s usually a reason for that. While you may very well be ready to handle what the memory holds, it’s also possible that recovering the memory could be detrimental to your mental health. It would be much safer and more likely to be helpful for you if you recovered the memory while in therapy so that any effects of the memory could be dealt with with the help of a trained professional. As well, therapists will be able to help you through memory recovery techniques that you wouldn’t be able to do on your own, such as EMDR.

Again, there’s a high probability that when you’re ready to recover the memory, you will. However, there is a possibility that, for whatever reason, the memory will remain lost. That may be something that you eventually have to accept. If you’re determined to try to recover the memory on your own, I can’t stop you, but please try to keep in mind that recovering the traumatic memory will only benefit you if you’re actually ready to remember; otherwise, you’ll only risk hurting yourself. As well, using techniques such as hypnosis in order to try and recover memories can lead to the creation of false memories. If you do decide to explore what you already remember to see if you can find anything to remind you of the time in between, at least ensure that you’re as safe and stable as possible when doing so. Have a support network in place and make sure that you’ve already processed the trauma that you’re currently aware of. 

I’m very sorry for what you’ve been through, and I hope that healing goes as smoothly as possible for you. I hope that this reply was some help to you in that regard.

-Rage of Those Interrupted

12:41 am
4 notes
Q: Could you explain some of the terminology used in the did community? I'm very new to all of this and don't understand what's being talked about. terms like system, core, host, inner world etc. I'm very confused.
Anonymous

We actually have a glossary of terms that are commonly used to refer to DID and dissociation in general here. I hope that this helps!

-Rage of Those Interrupted

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